12-18-09

+ 'its a great weekend in hollywood, i'm very excited' craig ferguson admits, 'theres a big movie that opens today, i'm very excited about it, its one of the most anticipated movies of the year. expect long lines at the movie theaters all weekend. its avatar. you know, the science fiction one, with the planet with the blue people. they look like cats! that means it will be successful. people love cats! i dont know why. the play 'cats' ran on broadway for over 100 years. if the people who made avatar are smart, there will be scene in the film where a cat bursts into song with all the other cats who all sing along in cockney accents 'oh, i'm a big blue cat, me name is socks! and i left a present in me litter box!' ah, cockney singing cats, there isnt anything funnier than that! anyway, the avatar movie cost 300 million dollars to make. which doesnt mean its good, i havent seen it so i dont know. but you dont need 300 million dollars to make a good movie, all you need is a good script, good actors, and boobies. now that i think about it, you dont really need actors or a script...'

- dame judi dench

- michelle rodriguez

12-17-09

+ 'its a big anniverary today' craig ferguson reminds us, 'mine? no, mine's on monday- i remembered, just in time! no, its 106 years ago this very day, the wright brothers in south carolina i think, the first air plane flight. the first flight was just 12 seconds long. it would have been shorter, but they had to change planes in st. louis... the wright brothers, of course, were wilber wright and orvile wright. they were bicycle manufacturers, some how they got this crazy idea that they could build an aircraft. basically, they were the 'jackass' guys of their day. historians say the wright brothers were constantly tinkering with their airplanes. they spent years experimenting with various models. much like tiger woods... now i've told you this before, i love the aviation. im a bit of an aviation buff, i am. there is something magical about looking down from above. everything looks great from above: buildings, freeways, clevage.'

- sigourney weaver

* hank stuever

12-16-09

+ 'the most terrifying news story today', craig ferguson warns, 'is that octopuses use coconuts for shelter. octopuses have learned to use coconuts! i couldnt believe it, i always thought more than one octopus was called octopi, but its octopuses. what? thats what it is! i have no idea why, dont email me english majors, i dont care. but heres why it doesnt make sense to me: if you have more than one cactus, youve got a cacti. if you have more than one stimulus, youve got stimuli. if youve got more than fungus, youve probably had sex with bret micheals. but i do like octopi because it makes me hungry because i think of eight pies. and pie is the tarzan to my stomachs jane... that doesnt even make sense for this show! anyway, it turns out they dig up coconuts from the ocean floor and make stuff! isnt that adorable? they make shelters, weapons, pina coladas. my mother used to always say 'i'm not an octopus, i cant do eight things at once. which i never understood, just cause youve got eight arms, doesnt mean you can do eight things at once. its a ridiculous notion, although my mother did used to hide in a coconut.'

+ a collection of christmas specials from different famous people: sarah palin, andy rooney, kate gosselin, simon cowell, willie nelson, paula abdul, and tom cruise.

- bob barker

# greta van susteren

12-15-09 1000th episode!

+ for this special 1000th episode of 'the late show with craig ferguson' our favorite hand puppet, the crocadilli-alligator wavey is hosting! in fact, for the 1000th episode, craig isnt even on it! everything is over run with puppets! wavey interviews the guests, does the monologue, and introduces the show. the rest of the show is filled with puppets too, including all the regular bits. check out the pictures for more:

- jason schwartzman

+ a sean connery holiday memory. its the same old funny bit, but this time sean connery is a puppet of a goat. actually, it makes it even funnier!

+ dear aquaman. just like a regular aguaman bit where he answers emails, but this time aquaman is a shark with a human body and blond hair.

- maria bello

- dracula puppet by jason segal from 'forgetting sarah marshall' singing 'dracula's lament'
- kristen bell
+ a song with wavey, a harem of women, all the show's supporting players, and prince charles! (which is the only time we actually see craig ferguson on his own 1000th show)

12-14-09

+ 'guess what happened to me over the weekend', craig ferguson asks, 'i'll tell you. so, i was in nashville friday night, doing a little show in nashville, very nice, country music, everyone very pleasant, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, country music, politeness. lovely. saturday morning i have an early flight to l.a., but there is no direct flight from nashville to la on saturday morning, so i had to get a connecting flight through houston texas. a perfectly normal thing to do, people do it all the time. i get there early and i go up to the desk, everyone's very nice, i'm on the plane, a very small plane. and i'm on the plane and i think 'this plane is busy, theres just too many people for this small place'. its ten past six in the morning. then the gate agent comes on 'the flight is over booked, someone has to get off, its over booked and over weight'. and i'm like 'tell me about it, that exactly what i'm like!' so they are asking around to get people off, and i think well, i've got to go to make my connecting flight, but the flight is taking a while, i'm never going to make it. i say 'ok, ill get off'. so i get off the plane, i think 'well, i've got to get to l.a.' i get off and go up to the ticket agent. i ask 'all right, just get me to l.a.' they say 'oh, thanks for doing that.' i went 'its allright, you over booked the flight though' 'yeah, we've been doing that a lot lately'. i talk with this guy and he says 'i can get you back to l.a. through st. louis'. i get the ticket and i see its a six hour layover in st. louis airport. and as much as i like the people of st. louis, six hours aint going to cut it for me. i decide you know what, i'm going to get a car and drive up to atlanta and see a buddy who lives there. now, as im walking away, the guy says 'hey, i love your show'. and im thinking 'he knows i'm on tv...' and he says 'hey, dont bad mouth us on tv!' oh, there's no way i would bad mouth you on tv, CONTINENTAL AIRLINES!!! anyway, i went to see my buddy, stayed in atlanta for the night, and then i flew home on a big comfortable plane operated by DELTA AIRLINES who were very very nice! your welcome airline industry!'

- joshua jackson

- lake bell

= reba mcentire

12-11-09

+ 'do you know the hell of presenting a television show every night where you just talk?', craig ferguson asks, 'i'll tell you, you never know what offensive crap you are going to say next. this is why, what happens is this: the people like me, who are basically just wiseasses and just talk for a living, we would start doing these shows. we would just come out and say anything. soon we were saying things and people would go 'hey, you cant say that!' and they would be right. we were just talking. now what we do is we have scripts. we look at these scripts and ponder over them and lawyers come in and go 'yes, i think that would be acceptable for small americans' or you know, what ever it is, the group of people who would be offended by your 'comedy'. but heres the problem: i think i goes to far sometimes. cause what happens is, i had an idea for something to do on the show and one of the lawyers said 'i think this is in poor taste'. and i said 'yes, thats kind of what we do'. he said 'yeah, but i think its in poor taste'. i said 'you dont have taste, your a lawyer!' i said 'i dont care, is it legal?' see what happens is, everybody is an expert in comedy. if it doesnt make you laugh, its not funny. in drama you can get around it, cause if somebody says they liked it, you can say 'oh, you liked it did you?' 'what, you didnt like it?' 'no, i didnt like it.' then you can say 'oh, you probably didn't get it'. comedy is the opposite, 'oh, thats the kind of thing that makes you laugh? i only laugh at intelligent things.' now, i have something to tell you: if you only laugh at really intelligent things, its slim pickins here.'
- jim parsons
= they might be giants

12-10-09

+ 'its a great day for our present president obama', craig ferguson shares, 'he accepted a nobel peace prize in norway. i dont want to say this obama love is out of control, but his acceptance speech for the nobel prize just won the pulitzer prize and his over all performance won an oscar. theres a lot of controversy for president obama in norway, because he apparently snubbed the norwegian royal family. he snubbed them by canceling lunch with them. he was meant to have lunch with the royal family and he canceled. dont be silly, norwegian royal family, even if the president doesnt invite you just show up and crash the party, thats how we do it in america. the award is given out in oslo norway, which has been in the news this week because of the strange lights in the sky there. wait... a strange star like object over oslo just before obama arrives, a gift of a gold medal given by a group of wise men... nah. naaah. even msnbc are going 'no, you took it too far'. anyway, some people are saying its a light from a ufo coming to welcome obama, which is ridiculous cause if it were really a ufo, they would take joe biden back to his home planet.'
+ a sean connery christmas memory
# howie mandel
- paula marshall

12-09-09

+ 'oh, wait a minute', criag ferguson asks, 'morgan freeman is on tonight! see, now theres the thing! here's the thing though, morgan freeman is one of those guys where if he's in your movie, its better! no, its true, if morgan freeman is in the movie and there's like flippy baldwin is in it too, then you go 'oh, morgan freeman is in it, alright, i'll watch it!' well, he's here. and this is when we will break the rule. morgan freeman will be on this show, and it will still be crap!'
- morgan freeman
= overtones

12-08-09

+ 'earlier tonight abc aired 'a charlie brown christmas', craig ferguson shares, 'it was supposed to be on last week but was delayed for the presidential speech last week. i've always been a fan of charlie brown and the whole peanuts gang. its good to see the peanuts gang back together. snoopys not there though, no one has seen him since he spent that weekend at michael vick's house! uh oh! anyway, the peanuts cartoon has stayed the same since the '50s. i'm very glad of that, i dont like the idea of charlie brown aging, otherwise there would be specials like 'its your third divorce, charlie brown', 'its the great pumpkin size prostate, charlie brown'. you know who i think is like the peanuts gang: the late night talk show hosts. david letterman can be like charlie brown, he's the leader of the gang, but he's kind of cranky and depressed. and then conan o'brien can be like peppermint patty, you know he's freckly. and i'll be pigpen! the dude who makes an occasional appearance to stink the place up a bit, all covered in flies and everything. who's the kid with the blankey? linus? fallon.'

- michael clarke duncan

- gillian jacobs

= rosanne cash

take a poll

the magazine marie claire is running a pole asking 'Which late-night talk show host would you sleep with?' it lists 9 different options, and among them is our very own craig ferguson! craig talked about this poll on monday's show when it was brought up by an emailer. at the time craig was by far in the lead- he had 74% of all the votes! want to add your two cents? curious about where the numbers are now? well, click here to check it out!

12-07-09

+ 'i'm troubled', shares craig ferguson, 'a couple things happened. one is that i've done something this weekend that i havent done before, and thats really upset me. my son wanted to see the harry potter movies. i've never seen them, i been making fun of them for years. thats easy for me to say 'oh that kid, he's a drunk midget' all that stuff. i've been making fun of it. so anyway, so i watched the first harry potter movie with my son. its awesome. awesome! and i'm like 'wait, wait. i'm was like 'oh, voldimort is right behind you, harry!' its fantastic and i've been making fun of it. now, i'm having a crisis, i'm having an existentialist dilemma. well, not as brainy as that, i'm probably just having a douche dilemma. here's my douche dilemma: i make fun of things, its kind of my job, you know? and i've been making fun of those vampires, you know the modern ones with good haircuts that are vegetarians and they care about your feelings. 'oh, new moon, i'm not going to see that'. what if thats good?!? and i've been making fun of it, and its good? then i'm thinking 'i've never listened to the jonas brothers, maybe their good!' what am i going to do?!? maybe everything i say is sucky isnt sucky at all! maybe i'm the one that sucks. i make fun of stuff i havent seen all the time. will i stop? no...'

- shirley manson

* mitch albom

craig ferguson's rattle snake mug

wondering how you can get your hands on a rattlesnake mug like craig fergusons? well, you are in luck! craig ferguson got his originally from mary mccormack when she went to the albuquerque rattlesnake museum, but i have discovered where to get one from if you are not able to quickly drive over there yourself. after scouring the internet for a place to find the mug (with a little help from some faithful readers...) i have figured it out! you can get one of them by ordering online from here, or you can call the rattlesnake museum itself by dialing this number: 505-242-6569. hope that helps!
thanks for stopping by, and dont forget to check back here regularly for episode highlights of 'the late late show with craig ferguson'!

12-04-09

+ 'because its friday, there are a couple new movies coming out that i am very excited about', craig ferguson admits, 'no, i'm not really. i'm just going to see 'new moon' over and over again until my pants fall off. which usually happens as soon as the werewolves come on. i love the werewolves in that movie, they're not wolfy and theyre not werey. theres something about them that brings out the hairy beast in me, and he's hungry for meat. there's a new movie opening today, its called 'everybody's fine' staring robert deniro and drew barrymore. i like drew barrymore, i think she's lovely. remember when drew jumped on david letterman's desk and showed him her boobies? that happened here as well, except it was drew carrey. but, to be fair: awesome boobies! shame about the desk.'

- emily blunt

* david bianculli

12-03-09

+ in the opening bit craig invited a couple down and the man proposed to his girlfriend! very cool! (wish i had thought of that... i dont think my wife would have liked it though. she might not have said yes...)
+ 'last week adam lambert was kicked off 'good morning america' and today he was kicked off two more abc shows', craig ferguson shares, 'he's in hot water because he misbehaved on the american music awards. and when i say misbehaved, i mean he simulated gay sex. and if that's a crime, slap the cuffs on me, mister! tighter, tighter. the safety word is 'banana'. anyway, because of his performance, adam lambert is being dropped from abc's big new years eve show, cause, you know, he's doing too much gay stuff i guess. but the show is being hosted by ryan seacrest. mixed message anyone?'
- george lopez
+ a sean connery holiday memory
= onerepublic

12-02-09

+ 'you know, today three more women said they have had affairs with tiger woods', craig ferguson informs, 'i'm like 'alright! golf got sexy! some people are outraged, but i'm impressed- how does he find time to play golf?!? the florida police have now closed the case on the car accident, so they wont take him into custody and away from his wife, no matter how much he begs them to...'
+ kristen bell comes by to help craig read the emails
= paul shaffer
- shohreh aghdashloo

12-01-09

+ 'president obama's address to the nation was on earlier today', criag ferguson reminds us, 'all the networks who showed it, nbc preempted the jay leno show, it was his christmas special as well, i think: 'the chin who stole christmas'. abc had to postpone the charlie brown christmas special too. but here's the thing: cbs did not postpone its christmas special, it was on earlier tonight. it was, of course, the heart warming holiday favorite, the victorias secret christmas fashion show! those girls are so naughty its nice! the victorias secret fashion show is deceptive though, because that lingerie never looks as good on me. anyway, apparently, in the fashion show this year, a model wore a three million dollar bra. three million dollars?!? for that much it should turn your boobies into solid gold! that would be the best bond villain yet, goldboobies. anyway, women's underwear is so much more elaborate than mens. why should women have all the fun with the push up bras and everything. what about push up briefs? yeah!'

+ a sean connery holiday memory

- joel mchale

= the swell season

a sean connery christmas memory

craig ferguson has a new segment on the show, this one has craig dressed up like sean connery sharing his christmas memories. the memories themselves always seem to involve drinking and having sex with a man or family member. or both. its not the funniest bit ever on the show, but its somehow just comforting to have craig doing his sean connery impression again, huh? now thats a warm christmas memory!

11-30-09

+ 'last friday was the busiest shopping day of the year', criag fergson shares, 'economists are saying that holiday sales are already below expectations, they are saying, but they havent yet counted the diamond ring tiger woods is going to have to buy his wife. he is in a lot of trouble, tiger. look, if your name is tiger, sooner or later you are going to get in trouble. you are not just going to play golf your whole life... anyway, heres the tiger woods situation: 2:00am friday, tiger's suv crashes into a fire hydrant and a tree. the police arrive, tiger is unconscious, his face is smashed up, and his wife is holding a golf club. now, people are speculating, the bloggers are going crazy, like 'shes holding a golf club, she hit him!' now wait, it doesnt mean that she hit him. think about it, in tiger woods' house golf clubs are everywhere, they do everything with a golf club. they cook with the golf clubs, they brush their hair with the golf clubs, 'honey, can you pass the meatballs?' with a golf club! and, if it was a domestic dispute, and he sees his wife coming up with a golf club, he'd probably be thinking 'oh, thats a terrible backswing, look how her elbow is sticking out!'.'

+ a sean connery holiday memory

- micheal sheen

* carl bernstein

11-25-09

+ 'a lot of people go home to see the family at thanksgiving', craig ferguson tells, 'heres a tip. if you want to save the air fare, this is what i do: you have to pick a fight with the family right before thanksgiving, then you don't have to make the trip. which reminds me, i'd like to say hi to my fat uncle gordan and my stupid aunt moira. cant wait to see you guys at thanksgiving, you jerks!'
- robin wright
-> wolfgang puck

11-24-09

+ 'do i look tired to you?' craig ferguson asks, 'i tell ya, i feel tired. i had such a long weekend, the weekend was so long, even though yesterday was monday and today's tuesday, cause i think i've seen the twilight movie like fifty times! nope. still havent seen it. cant do it. cant do it. trying to connect with popular culture, but just cant give a rats ass about it. trying to. now, i know that a lot of you are like 'well craig, it doesnt matter, this is america, you dont have to be into twilight.' i know you dont have to, but i have to, its my job. you know, i have to go 'hey, our next guest is from the twilight movie, hey!' ugh. and then on the tv they have 'the vampire diaries'. now, what kind of fucking vampire keeps a diary?!? 'dear diary, does dracula like me, or like me?' what happened? i know i've been complaining about this too long now, i've been complaining about the trendiness of vampires. you know it started with harry potter. i'll tell you why. hang on, i'll tell you why. soon.' craig tries to think on his feet, 'its because he's english. and thats a safe bet for me. and i'm scottish. so, if in doubt about who to blame, blame the english. thats what i always do. oh, look at the time, i've been talked way too long. well, i better stop and get to the commericals. commercials. you know who i blame for the commercials? harry potter.'

- maria bello

- peter capaldi

= ben harper and relentless 7

11-23-09

+ 'have you seen how much money that 'new moon' movie made?' craig ferguson asks, 'oh my lord! it made so much money, they havent finished counting it yet, its got to be nearly a gazzillion dollars. mostly from me, i've seen it 20 times! i'm just kidding, i'm not going to go see it. i'm not going to go see it! i'm not going to see a movie called 'new moon' that doesnt have a bare ass in it, what's the point?' new moon is, of course, the second in the twilight series. twilight fever is everywhere. in books, magazine covers, posters all over the place, everywhere i look i see thin pale skinned men with fangs and hair gel. then i leave my house and it gets worse. the first twilight is about sensitive vampires who talk about their feelings. what could be better than that? 'i feel vulnerable', but in this one its got sensitive werewolves who talk about their feelings as well. have you seen the new werewolf in the movie? thats not wolfy, thats more like a gay bear.'

- margaret cho

# carl edwards, race car driver

11-20-09

+ 'its a great day, but also a sad day', criag ferguson laments, 'oprah winfrey announced that she's quiting the show in 2011. now you know why the mayans ended their calender in 2012, thats it! oprah's announcement today was very emotional, lots of tears, handkerchiefs, weeping. i tried to control myself, but i couldnt! once oprah leaves, the most powerful woman on tv is of course ryan seacrest, so everything will change! oprah has been doing her show for 24 years. 24 years! i cant imagine doing this show 24 years, i cant even imagine getting past the next commerical break! also, did you hear? even more bad news, did you hear about dr. phil's show? unfortunately he is going to keep going.'

- neil patrick harris

= david gray

11-19-09

+ craig ferguson gets an email from nina in manalus, new york. it says 'hi craig, my boyfriend just got a tatoo on his lower back, where it is referred to as a 'tramp stamp' for girls. is this normal for a guy?' 'i dont know. it depends what the tattoo is of, but even then, im not sure. i've got three tattoos, and i'm going to get more, i've decided that three tattoos isn't enough, i need at least 28. i've not got any tattoos where i cant see them because, and this is no disrespect to tattoo artists all across america, or across the world, but i don't trust you. so it has to be in a part of the body i can see', craig then looks over his shoulder, 'i can, but i have to go in a different direction. thanks coundalini yoga. i dont wish to blow my own trumpet, but i could if i wanted too...'
- sandra bullock
- ben foster

11-18-09

+ 'it's mickey mouse's birthday today', criag ferguson shares, 'so the mighty disney corporation declared today as 'micky mouse day'. mickey mouse is 81 years old today, 81. he's now officially the oldest rodent in show business, unless you count that thing on donald trump's head. now, mickey mouse isn't the only disney character who's growing old, all of them are. all the seven dwarfs now are grumpy, all of them. pinochio needs a blue pill now to get his nose up!'
- david duchovny he even gets to chat with wavy the crocodile
> lewis black

11-17-09

+ 'president obama's 9 day trip to asia is in full swing,' craig ferguson reports, 'he's visiting south korea, japan, china. the presidential trips like this require a lot of planning, the state department briefs the president, the air force clears the air space, the secret service leaves out dog food for joe biden. right now president obama is meeting with top chinese officials, and the american/chinese relationship has changed in the past couple years. we used to be the world's only super power, we would be standing head and shoulders above the other nations. we were like alec baldwin towering over all the other baldwins. oh steven and all the other baldwins, like corky, jermaine... thats actually quite accurate, isnt it, huh?'
- woody harrelson
* joe theismann

11-16-09

+ 'unlike most americans, i didnt go see 2012 this weekend', craig admits, 'it made a lot of money this weekend- the mayans warned us. a lot of people right now are wishing the mayans had warned them about the movie. oh, i shouldnt say that, there are some people who love watching the human suffering- those people are called divorce lawyers! usually the big disaster movies come out in the summer. i think with global warming it means that we are going to have to see movies like this all year round. and the movie is so successful, they are already, probably, i guess (i'm making it up). no its true- they are working on a sequel. when the world ends again! it will be called 2013: the legend of curly's gold! you're welcome people who enjoy topical movie references!'

- l. l. cool j

- mindy kaling

= ben harper and relentless7

11-13-09

+ 'its a big weekend for the movies, its the end of the world! hurrah!' craig ferguson exclaims, 'the movie 2012 comes out today. and like a lot of movies, it teaches us a valuable life lesson: and the life lesson is that we are all going to die. goodnight everybody. the movie 2012 is based on the mayan belief that the world will end in 2012. now keep in mind that the mayans believed the oceans would run dry, a jaguar would eat the sun, and jon and kate would last forever. so consider the source. anyway, the mayan calender ends in 2012. for the mayans it actually ended much ealier, the entire civilization was wiped out much earlier, the entire civilization was wiped out by the spanish. didn't really predict that, did you mayans.'
+ dear aquaman, featuring tim gunn
= harry connick jr. he and craig almost lock lips!
* peter segal

ratings win!

it was a good week for craig ferguson and the late late show. with all the changes that have been happening over the past year in late night talk shows, it looks like things are finally looking up for the underdog! all the late night shows on nbc have been shaken up, leno is on at 10, conan is now opposite dave, and jimmy fallon took over the slot conan left empty. each of these changes have gotten a bunch of publicity and a lot of attention. with letterman's scandal earlier this fall, he got a ton of attention too. that leaves us with one late night talk show host who seems to have been left in the dust: craig ferguson. well, he may not get all the publicity, but he still gets results! as tvbythenumbers.com reports here, for the first time since the shake up of hosts on nbc, craig ferguson has won the week in ratings against his competitors! this means that the average number of viewers for the week is higher for his show than for jimmy fallon! well done craig, it couldnt have happened to a stranger guy!

11-12-09

+ 'yesterday at an art auction, an andy warhol piece, which is called '200 1 dollar bills', sold for 43 million dollars', craig ferguon exclaims, 'whoa?!? who has that kind of money these days? i dont mean the 43 million dollars, i mean the 200 1 dollar bills! i would love to go to a big art auction, but i'd be afraid that i'd scratch my nose or pull my ear or something and i'd bid for some crappy thing i dont want. thats how i got this job!'

+ the rather late programme with prince charles

= trace adkins talks but doesnt sing, much to his surprise!

> nick griffin pretty funny

11-11-09

+ 'there is some very important news tonight, very important news! i cant be mucking around with jokes- theres news!' craig ferguson exclaims, 'finally, after a long year of campaigning, the winners were announced today for the toy hall of fame. its a real place! its in rochester new york, it was built 11 years ago, this is true, to recognized toys that have changed our lives. this is a real place, the 2009 inductees, i'm not kidding you, there's three: the big wheel, the game boy, and the ball. wait, wait, the ball?!? they have a toy hall of fame for 11 years, and the ball just made it?!? shouldnt the ball just be at the beginning? the ball should be right at the beginning with the stick. and boogers.'
+ fake george bush shows up to chat and help out with the e-mails
- kenneth branagh

11-10-09

+ 'it is today, sesame street is 40 years old', craig ferguson informs us, 'happy birthday! its officially now middle aged. cookie monster is going to have switch to a low carb diet. you thought oscar was grouchy before, wait till he gets that prostate exam!'
- adam arkin
* nina garcia

11-09-09

+ 'its a great day for germany,' craig ferguson reminds us, '20 years ago the berlin wall came down. i remember where i was: i was passed out in a dumpster. i actually dont remember where i was, but its a good bet, it came down twenty years ago, and i've been sober 17 years, i was probably sleeping in a dumpster... anyway, berlin twenty years ago, it was kind of the capital of cold war europe, the wall divided the city between east and west, between capitalist and communists. it was a symbol of oppression, like the statue of liberty is a symbol of freedom, or the hollywood sign is a symbol of resentment. anyway, the germans celebrated the only way they knew how, with a massive david hasselhoff concert. that's true!'
+ fake interview with governor schwarzenegger
- carla gugino
* dennis lehane

11-06-09

+ 'the holiday season is officially upon us', craig ferguson announces, 'because the movie 'a christmas carol' opens today. yes, that's right, christmas movies are being released earlier and earlier every year. now, i'm thinking al gore will blame global warming, but i'm not sure. the new movie is the animated version of jim carrey. does jim carrey really need to be animated? he's pretty cartoony already. i'm sure he will tone it down a bit for the movie. any time jim carrey doesnt make his ass talk in a movie, you know thats the one he wants an oscar for. i want to see his ass win an oscar, it would be a fantastic acceptance speech!'
- ewan mcgregor! another one of craig's best guests! two in one week- what a treat!
* anthony zuiker
= regina spektor

11-05-09

+ 'money's tight all over', craig ferguson shares, 'in fact, nicholas cage had to sell his bavarian castle. boo fucking hoo. turns out, nicholas cage is broke, he went from staring in blockbusters, to looking for a job at blockbuster. i'm actually concerned for nicholas cage, the market is quite soft right now for 500 year old bavarian castles... he also has to sell his haunted mansion in in new orleans. i heard that and i though nicholas cage has a haunted mansion? that is actually cool, he really is ghost rider! i've said it before, 'ghost rider' is the greatest movie ever made! if you dont like ghost rider, go and join your friends in tora bora, you al qaeda bastards! a movie about a skeleton who rides a motor cycle with his head on fire? come on! and they are making a sequel, but the producers are saying it wont be anything like the first one. well, you listen to me hollywood producers, you better not make it anything like that 'twilight' thing, with the sensitive vampires talking about their feelings, i dont want any of that! the ghost rider story doesnt need tinkering, i dont want a sequel where he's riding a sequel where he drives an old cadillac ghost riding ms. daisy or anything like that. just make the same movie again with different words- thats what i want!'
- denis leary
- jena malone

11-04-09

+ 'a few days ago, the largest cruise ship ever built set sail for the first time', craig ferguson shares, 'now, if you're like me, first of all, see a doctor and drink a lot of orange juice (there was a tip in there stoners...), you have been breathlessly following this ship's voyage. what happened is the ship left finland a few days a go, and soon will arrive in miami. its called 'oasis of the seas', its huge! its huge, this thing! its got a park on it, golf courses, its got a shopping mall. all the things you can do on land, with the added excitement of possibly sinking! the ship is five times as big as the titanic, so what could possibly go wrong? i'm sure everything is fine, they would never hit an ice burg, with global warning, there's no ice burgs left. anyway, the company that made the ship say that its environmentally friendly. its a completely green vessel. that means it doesnt dump anything in the ocean, all the waste created on the ship gets reused. in other words, dont order the lemonade... or the chocolate cake...'
+ dear aquaman featuring tim gunn
- mo'nique
* stephen fry

11-03-09

+ 'its a great day for our japanese friends', craig ferguson shares, 'its a big holiday in japan, japanese culture day. big day for me, i celebrate it every year. i do, november the third every year i put on a kimono and giggle like a school girl 'tee hee hee'. actually i do that nearly every day. i think my fascination with japanese culture began by going to japanese restaurants. you know when you go to a japanese restaruant and they shout at you when you walk in 'hersumase!' it means 'welcome', and i think is the shouting really necessary? i dont shout at people when i welcome them into my home, unless they are old and hard of hearing, 'good to see you again regis!'. i will admit, i used to think the whole japanese dinning thing was a joke, it was a put on. they're like 'lets see if we can get these people to eat raw fish with steaks, and then get them to drink hot wine, and then we will get them to sit on the floor without shoes on!'.'
+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book. gerard butler
- valerie bertinelli
* dave barry

11-02-09

+ 'happy day light savings time, everybody' craig ferguson celebrates, 'as you can see its getting much darker at night now, much earlier at night. even though its live and its half past time in your region. this weekend everyone gained an hour, but it evens out, so your throwing an hour away. i'm not kidding, its going to suck more than usual tonight, but if you want to stay with it, i will too...'

- billy connelly the return of one of craig's top three guests!!!

- george eads

= jack ingram

new york times book review

with craig ferguson's new autobiography, 'american on purpose', out now, there have been many book reviews written. here is an excerpt from the book review in the new york times:

The fact that Ferguson has the Scottish version of chutzpah shouldn’t come as a surprise to regular viewers of his TV program, “The Late Late Show,” on CBS. Since his debut as host in 2005, he has evolved into something of an anti-Leno, trading the rapid-fire delivery of canned topical jokes cooked up in a writers’ room for something more idiosyncratic and risky: a loopy, seemingly ad-libbed monologue in which he talks with, not at, the audience.

check out the complete review here.

10-30-09

+ 'halloween is this weekend', craig ferguson reminds us, 'halloween though isn't just for kids. popular costumes that are selling like hotcakes this year are the jon and kate costumes. i cant wait until next halloween when no one remembers who the hell they are. i dont know what a jon and kate costume is. kate would be easy, you get a mullet wig and put it on backwards. but how do you dress like jon? i think you wear an ed hardy tee shirt and wear a sign that says 'jerk'. although, if you are wearing the ed hardy tee shirt you dont really need the sign. twilight costumes are quite popular too. when i was a teenager, this is true, when i was a kid one holloween i dressed up as dracula. but we didnt have any hair cream in our house, cause we were poor. hair cream is not beloved by scottish protestents. 'you cant be spending money to buy things to make yourself more attractive! hair cream, is it? next you'll be wearing trousers!' its true... we didnt have any hair cream, so i used butter to slick my hair back. so i go to the party and the butter is all melting. i was a teenager and i was excited, but i looked more like 'i cant believe its not dracula'. the butter is all dripping down my face, i'm wearing all the eye make up and stuff, because i'm a teenager and its melting into my acne. i went to the party as a vampire, but came back as a giant zit!'
- lauren graham
- jessalyn gilsig
= the fruit bats

10-29-09

+ 'today is a very important day', craig ferguson announces, 'it was on this day in 1923, that the republic of turkey was founded, its a big day over there. why am i talking about it? i'll tell you why: bit of a slow news day... i'll tell you why i like turkey, because its the only nation named after an animal. turkey was founded from the remnants of the ottoman empire. the ottoman empire was unstable, it collapsed when people put their feet up on the cushion. i've been to turkey, do you know how i got there? took the gravy boat. i went to the grand bazaar in istanbul and i bought a carpet. turkey is known for their thick plush carpets, unlike brazil...'
# newt gingrich

10-28-09

+ 'they are giving out swine flu vaccines now', craig ferguson shares, 'i want this vaccination, though. you know the word vaccine comes from the latin 'vacas', which means cow. so what happened in the 18th centery, an english doctor discovered that if you give people the cow pox virus, it would protect them from the more dangerous virus of small pox. thats why its called vaccination, from vacas, or cow. anyway, all over the country there is a shortage of this vaccine. i want to know why. if there is enough of the virus to cause the epidemic of the swine flu, then there should be enough to make the vaccine- its the same stuff! i smell a conspiracy! a virus is an organic naturally occurring substance, how hard can it be to grow? in places where they do have the vaccine, people are willing to fight for it. oh, this always happens before christmas, last year it was a tickle-me-elmo, before that it was the buzz lightyear thing, this year its the swine flu vaccine...'
# madelein albright
= rodrigo y gabriela great guitarists!

10-27-09

+ 'it's a great day for the u.s. navy', craig ferguson announces, 'because it's navy day. navy day started in 1922 to celebrate the brave men and women of the u.s. navy. now, the u.s. navy, was founded by john paul jones- who was a scotsman! he went to sea at 13 years old, he deserted the british merchant marine because he was discussed by slavery, and he founded the american navy. anyway, what i'm saying is that its navy day. i always fancied going to sea, being a sailor, but i'm not so sure i could take the lifestyle. you know, 'rum, buggery, and the lash'. well, i'm fine with a bit of rum and buggery, but i'm not into the lash. i prefer cuddling.'

+ dear aquaman, featuring tim gunn

- alicia silverstone near the end of the interview the lights went out! craig does a great job of covering and turning it into more of a radio show...

* salman rushdie

10-26-09

+ 'have you seen 'paranormal activity'?' craig ferguson asks, 'its the number one movie in the country. that means its great. this is the logic: more people saw 'paul blart: mall cop' than saw 'the shawshank redemption'. therefore 'paul blart: mall cop' is a better movie than 'the shawshank redemption'. do you see? thats right, more people saw it, that means its better. dont you understand capitalism?!? i havent seen 'paranormal activity', it sounds scary. its about a couple, they get a camcorder and they put it by the bed to record the things that go bump in the night, and also to see if anything happens with ghosts while they are asleep... the word paranormal means anything that defies scientific explanation. such as how does trump keep that thing on his head? how does a baldwin walk on its hind legs? people are making a big deal about 'paranormal activity' cause it cost 15,000 dollars to make. when i heard that, i was jealous! if we had that kind of money i'd buy suits, we would get a light or two in here, i would buy the audience tickets to a decent show, the price is right maybe. what i'm saying is that 'paranormal activity' will make a huge profit, but that doesnt mean its quality. no one will say 'that movie was garbage, but it only cost 15,000, so i'll see it three times'. i think some people are going to see this movie because it was make out of the studio system, you know, no special effects, no stars, its the little movie that could, its an underdog story. if you like this show, clearly you like an underdog story...'

+ interview with america's number one halloween expert henry winkler

- sharri shepherd

* alex dryden

party at elton john's house

its been previewed all week, with clips enticing us of what was to come. and friday we got to see it. unfortunately, craig ferguson was right when he said earlier in the week that it wouldnt live up to the hype. the main reason it was lame: the guy who played craig (craig played elton john) was crap. this isnt anything new, this guy has been doing stupid impressions of craig on bits for the show for a long time- please craig, i implore you: get rid of him! he brings everything he does down a notch. he is not funny, in fact he is an annoyance and i get angry every time i see him. he sucks!!!
other than that, though, the sketch featured salmon rushdie (not entirely sure why...) and a lot of orgy jokes. craig's turn as elton john was pretty funny though.

10-16-09

+ 'there's a movie coming out today called stepfather', craig ferguson informs us, 'i'm thinking, oh good, this is a nice movie about a loving dad, a step father. it's not- its a horror movie! its a horror movie about a step father does things like cooks dinner, makes the kids do their homework. all right, every now and then he chases them with an axe... but i'm thinking, dont step parents have a hard enough time getting along with the kids, and now hollywood is trying to sell the idea that stepfathers are twisted nut jobs? usually step fathers are fine, they arent creepy. well, unless your step father is woody allen... all i'm saying is that step fathers get a bad rap, so do step children. like the term 'red headed stepchild'. it doesnt mean they are a freak! a couple months ago there was a movie called 'orphan' and it was about an evil adopted child. its a rough time for family members that arent blood related. you know what movie i want to see? i want to see a movie called 'pervy grandpa'! 'who needs a spanking?' even cartoons are tough time on relatives. you know who i blame: fairy tales. exactly. 'what is a fairy tale, craig?' i hear you ask. it is simply a parable. 'what is a parable?' i hear you ask. a parable is an enigmatic allegory. i hope thats cleared it up for you. and what child doesnt love an enigmatic allegory?'
+ party at elton john's house skit
= toby keith
- michelle monaghan

10-15-09

+ 'i'll tell you who its not a great day for today', craig ferguson mournfully shares, 'its not a great day for the old folks. today the social security administration announced that there will be no cost of living increase for senior citizens. this is the first time its happened since 1975. and i for one, am reaching a point in my life where i'm interested in this kind of thing... i am, i'm feeling things that are happening in my body! are you there God, its me, craig! i'm often thinking about senior citizen things, i'm noticing more early bird specials where ever i go, i find myself watching reruns of matlock all the time! i'm strangely attracted to angela lansbury... legally there are three stages of aging. at 50 you can join the aarp, at 65 you start getting social security checks, and at 75 you are legally allowed to slap a waitress on the ass and call her 'toots'. i am 47 years old, in three years i can be in the aarp! me! me!!! 8 years from now i am eligible for senior discount at ihop. i can hear what you are saying 'craig, would you really suffer the indignity to get a dollar off pancakes?' your damn right i would! actually, i'm thinking of getting a fake id for ihop discounts before my 8 years are up!'
+ another preview for the friday sketch of 'party at elton john's house' it better be good (even though craig plainly states that its going to suck)
- forrest whitaker
* adam savage, jamie hyneman (the guys from mythbusters)

10-14-09

+ 'its not a great day here in l.a.' craig ferguson laments, 'literally, the city has been brought to its knees by a natural disaster. its scarier than an earthquake, worse than fires, crazier than mel gibson on a road trip, thats right: light rain in las angeles! a light smattering of rain. you can always tell when its raining in l.a., people loose their minds! rain in l.a. is like a tornado anywhere else. those of you in the audience should be aware, there is a leaky roof here, i'm not kidding. but this audience is from l.a., so in the event of a leak and the place floods, you can use your breast implants as a floatation device.'
+ preview for 'a party at elton john's house' skit coming on friday
+ paula poundstone stops by to do the emails with craig.
- kristen bell
- robert carlyle

10-13-09

+ 'theres a lot of important news going on right now', craig ferguson shares, 'theres some very big news, i'm going to talk about it tonight, i dont like to talk about things this serious, but i'm going to have to talk about it tonight: we are in the middle of a pumpkin shortage. and apparently halloween fun is threatened! i think that might be exaggerating a bit, i mean halloween wont be cancelled just because theres a pumpkin shortage, that would be like cancelling 'jon and kate' because they were short one douche bag. nobody has cancelled this show because of a lack of entertainment value. according to the article, the pumpkin growing season was especially rainy, and thats why theres so few pumpkins, and the pumpkins that survive are going to be smaller than usual. its just a matter of time before the pumpkin shortage will be a political issue. the democrats will blame the global warming for the pumpkin shortage, the republicans will blame michael moore for eating all the pumpkins. i'm going to go with the republicans on this one...'
+ larry king of the jungle
- tim robbins
- adam goldberg
= dierks bentley

10-12-09

+ 'its a great day for our neighbors to the north', craig ferguson shares, 'up in canada its canadian thanksgiving, so happy thanksgiving, our canadian friends! thats why i'm being positive! canadians are positive and upbeat, they are perky and they enjoy knit wear! thats why i'm doing it. their thanksgiving is just like our thanksgiving, but they eat the traditional canadian meal of hockey pucks stuffed with back bacon...'
+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book. kristen bell
- david boreanaz
* mitch albom

10-09-09

+ 'today is not just a normal friday', craig ferguson reminds us, 'its leif ericson day! now, not everybody loves leif ericson day, 'who craig?', well let me tell you! the italians dont. see, leif ericson is considered by historians to be the first european to land in north america, but italians are like 'what about christopher columbus?' leif ericson arrived in north america 500 years before columbus, but he was a viking, and vikings get a bad rap. cause columbus got a whole city named after him in ohio, but what did leif ericson get? he got leif gerrett named after him, leaf blowers... all right all right, i'll try to stop punning on leif. ill leif it alone. oh, thats a re-leif. anyway, historians argue over who discovered america, was it leif ericson or colombus? personally, i think its very hard to discover something if there are people already living there...'
+ dear aquaman with tim gunn
- gerard butler
= phoenix

10-08-09

+ 'i am angry at news organizations', craig ferguson informs us, 'they print garbage and pass it off as the truth. what happens is one newspaper prints it, and then the others pick it up, and everyone believes it. the news channels are just as bad. like on cnn, right, they read out what people are saying on twitter. how is that news? thats like going to the street corner and talking to the guy who's barking at the sky. thats not news! i thought cnn stood for cable news network, not crazy nightly nuts! now, i dont want to sound like grandpa, like 'why dont they make good shows like matlock anymore?' like when walter cronkite read the news you knew it was the news. mainly because he ended the broadcast saying 'and thats the way it is'. and then if you said 'no, i actually heard something...' 'no, thats the way it is.' i guess i only trust news from wrinkly old guys, i guess thats why the most trusted name is larry king.'
+ dear aquaman with tim gunn
- jean reno
- sophia bush

10-07-09

+ 'here is some very good news', craig ferguson shares, 'at nasa the countdown is on. cause at nasa, after years of wasting the tax payers money on research to increase the quality of life here on earth and all that rubbish, nasa is doing something cool: they are blowing up the moon. no, thats not a joke, i'm not kidding- right now a centaur missile is hurdling through space headed for the moon's south pole. and i for one would just like to say how awesome that is! nasa is saying thats an experiment, they are going to blow up a little bit of the moon. they are going to spectro analyze a debris cloud, and see if there is water in it to see if there is water on the moon. i think we all know the real mission here is, and that is reminding the moon that it is still our bitch!'
+ dear aquaman with tim gunn
- rachel bilson
* david milch

10-06-09

+ 'did you see kiss on letterman?' craig ferguson asks, 'i mean the band kiss, not the other thing. kiss was on letterman, i just watched it cause we're live! i'm live, the audience i'm not so sure about... no they are here, they're just not in a good mood. kiss have got a new album out, it the first in 19 years. i once saw kiss in concert. it was just before my 30th birthday, i was just about 2 months sober. i know, it wasnt a smart thing to do... i went to see kiss and right before the show there was a giant sphinx head and i thought 'oh, this is going to be good', and the giant sphinx head was right there, the lights go dark, and the music started to rumble, and then lazer beams shot out of the sphinx's eyes, and i'm like 'oh yes!', then smoke starts coming out of the sphinx nostrils, and the mouth opens up and inside was kiss and i thought 'oh man, being sober sucks!'.'
+ dear aquaman with tim gunn
- julia louis-dreyfus
= avett brothers

10-05-09

+ with the big scandal with david letterman, craig ferguson weighs in: 'well, i guess by now you've all figured out how i got the job... oh, man. i mean, just for a second, put yourself in my position. i'm sure you already know, david letterman, the king of late night television, unless you believe the nbc press release, the king of late night television, got himself into a little bit of a situation which he's dealing with, is my boss. and my job is to take the number one news story of the day and have a bit of fun with it... now imagine that your boss is caught with his... no, that's a bad example. your boss in a situation where he is caught in an embarrassing situation, and your job is to be funny about this while keeping your own job. so, this is my last show... but i will say this, if we are now holding late night talk show hosts to the same moral accountability that we hold politicians and clergymen, then i'm out. i'm gone. because i dont think ive kept it a secret from you that i have a few incidents from my past. but i made the smart move and wrote them down in a book. its called 'american on purpose' available in all fine bookstores near you. i feel very bad about this, because i like a bit of danger in my entertainers. i like my musicians to be drug fueled. because if you want entertainers to be squeaky clean, then what are you going to be watching? jonas brothers. exactly. now, it's not for me to comment- actually it is for me to comment! argh! let me just say this: i have enjoyed working here. and i'm going to do my darned to keep working here. but if i inadvertently say something that gets me fired... then i hope its funny!!!'

+ tim meadows talks about the olympic decision to go to rio

-michael sheen

- viola davis

craig on dave

on september 24th craig ferguson made an appearance on 'the late show with david letterman' in support of his new book 'american on purpose'. it's always fun to watch craig when he's on other people's shows, he's a lot more reserved and he really behaves himself. he's not nearly as strange as he is on his own show, he probably feels like people might actually be watching him...

watch the whole episode here.

10-02-09

+ 'there's a movie opening today that i really want to see,' craig ferguson admits, 'its called zombieland. theres no confusion in the title, you know what your getting with zombieland, its about a land full of zombies! i love zombies, cause if theres any monster that could riverdance, it would be zombies! that's what i'm hoping for, riverdancing zombies- i can see it on broadway now! horror movies are supposed to be allegories for what humans wrestle with. like dracula is a metaphor for sex, you know, the penetrating fangs, they crave the flesh, all that. but you'd think all the maidens in transylvania would think to shut their windows at night, but they are all kind of like 'oh, this breeze feels so good on my boobies, oh, i cant get to sleep without sticking my lady's business out of the window. oh, the transylvania night air, makes me glad i'm visiting from england. i always come here for my vacation...' the vampire thing is a metaphor for sex, dr. jekel and mister hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism, he drinks a potion and becomes a monster. i know exactly how he feels... i dont know what the zombie is an allegory for- maybe stoners, thats what it is. 'must eat brains... or twinkies.'.'
- tim gunn
- colbie smulders
= lynyrd skynyrd

10-01-09

+ 'when i was a kid growing up,' craig ferguson remembers, 'even just the word china represented something exotic and mysterious to me. when i was a kid, my dad would make something he called 'chinese eggs', which was a huge treat, he would only make it when my mother wasnt around and he had to cook. it was a boiled egg with toast cut into little squares, and mashed up in a cup. and i would say to my mom 'mom, dad made us something special, you dont know what it is, its called chinese eggs!'. she said 'its just boiled egg, your fathers a drunk.'.'
- patricia arquette
-dominic cooper

9-30-09

+ 'do you know what's happened?' craig ferguson asks, 'this is big news, my favorite show 'jon and kate plus eight' has been cancelled. but its coming back as 'kate plus eight' cause jon's been cancelled is what i'm saying. to be honest, i've never seen 'jon and kate'. see, all i know about jon and kate is from magazine covers or from joel mchale's show 'the soup'. and all i know about kate is this: she's got eight kids, and she's got some sort of weird reverse mullet haircut thats the wrong way around, its like party in the front and bussiness in the back. thats what i know about jon: he is a horses ass. how do i know that? because he wears the ed hardy t-shirts.'
+ oom-ra and craig communicate via whistle tubes
- jenna elfman
> dom irrera

9-29-09

+ 'i was on the view', craig ferguson admits, 'and i showed my tattoo because barbara walters wanted to see it. and if barbara walters wants to see something, you take your pants off and show her! and then i showed her a tattoo. she said 'oh, i like that', she was nice about it and everything was fine. and later on i met some people and this lady comes up to me and says 'i don't like your tattoo'. thats ok, because it's not for you, its for me. then she said 'oh, tattoos arent rebelious, everyone's got a tattoo right now. everyone has one'. i said 'do you have one?' 'no', 'that's why i have one'. 'they're not rebelious', 'i know, but you don't have one. i have one. which makes me cool'.'
- james spader
> cathy ladman

9-28-09

+ craig ferguson shares some osborne news: 'at age 60, ozzy osborne finally got his driver's license. so congratulations there to mel gibson who is no longer the most dangerous celebrity on the road. what i cant believe though is that ozzy osborne is only 60 years old! i mean, come on, he's always 'argh..' wow, only 60?!? i think it makes you look old if you eat bats, clearly. bats are the bacon of rock and roll.'
- chris o'donnell
> paula poundstone

9-25-09

+ 'its been crazy this week', craig ferguson tells us, 'you know what's happened? r. kelley released a new song, right, and its called 'number 1'. is that really the best title of a song if you are the guy who got arrested for going wee wee on someone?!? now, i offer that up as a discussion, i'm not saying thats a joke, its just a discussion. maybe in your book club you could discuss that. i'm like oprah, only poor.'
+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book: marg helgenberger
- ted danson
* christopher miller and phil lord, directors of 'cloudy with a chance of meatballs'

9-24-09

+ 'tonight is the season premier of the mentalist', craig ferguson reminds us, 'it was on earlier on cbs. 'what's that show about?' i hear you mentally thinking. its about a detective who's powers of observation are so great that people think he's psychic. dont confuse it for the show 'psych', which is on another network, thats about a cop who's powers of observation are so great that people think he's psychic. but its nothing like the mentalist at all. psych show, the mentalist show, they are as different as 'wife swap' and 'trading spouses'. the mentalist is a fantastic show though, it really is. i've never seen it. the mentalist is so observant he can tell what people are thinking, he's like a woman in a mans body. i know exactly how he feels... now, listen, if you don't want anybody reading your mind, just do what i do: wear a tinfoil hat!' craig really cracks himself up with that one! 'ha ha! i love that idea! wear a tinfoil hat, they wont have to read your mind, they will just see that you are crazy. oh, what am i saying? you are watching this show, you are probably already wearing a tinfoil hat!'
+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book: reba
- jason schwartzman
- angela kinsey

9-23-09

+ 'it's a great day for america, everybody', craig ferguson again declares, 'its also a great day of ireland! today is the 250th anniversary of guinness beer. i may have crossed paths with guinness in my life... 'what made guinness famous made a looser out of me!' irish people took to the streets today, drinking and throwing up on each other, and you should have seen them when they found out about the anniversary! 'craig, you're reinforcing national stereotypes' yes, i am.'
+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book
- jennifer love hewett
* ken tucker
= arctic monkeys

9-22-09

+ the intro segment starts with craig ferguson turning around with a marker under his nose, looking shocked like we caught him doing something bad, 'sorry, sorry, i was just... i was just seeing what i would look like in a yellow moustache. i wasnt really sniffing a pen, those days are behind me. no, i thought would i do that for a joke? will i sniff a pen in the beginning as a joke? then i thought i cant, cause then people will be outraged and like 'oh', the pen sniffers of america will be like 'how dare you mock us', then there will be other people saying 'pen sniffing is a serious problem'. and it might be, it might be, i don't know. there might be a whole area, dr drew's dealing with people who are like 'i started off on ball points then went crazy, i thought it was harmless, just a pencil every now and then...'. let me tell you something: pencils are the near beer of pens. that doesnt even make any sense, that. you that i dont drink anymore, i know. no, i dont, i havent drank in a long time. and this is how i am without drinking- can you imagine? oh no no, you wouldnt be applauding, you'd be running. i dont drink anymore and people say 'oh, you can have a near beer.' i'm like 'no'. if i have a near beer, i'm near beer. and if i'm near beer, i'm close to tequila. and if i'm close to tequila, i'm adjacent to cocaine. and if i'm adjacent to cocaine, i'm in jail. see? you see how it goes? thats the natural flow of things.'
+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book
= reba
- dave annable

9-21-09

+ craig ferguson starts the show's intro segment with the crocodile hand puppet named wavey. wavey begins by saying 'hey everybody! what a do? i've come to tell you something that's kind of embarrassing for the scottish conan guy. we've been looking at the market research for the show. hey everybody. the most popular part of this show, i'm not kidding you, is me! wavey! yeah! ha ha! yeah! and they said it couldnt be done by a cold blooded killer!' then craig comes in with a sad face, 'its true... people love puppets though, puppets and animation. thats what they want. they don't want some fat old douche in the middle of the night.'

+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book

- marg helgenberger

- dule hill

= black joe lewis and the honeybears

9-11-09

+ 'there is a movie opening today called 'whiteout'', craig ferguson shares, 'i'm very excited about it, finally a movie about liquid paper! 'in a world where people make mistakes, there is a fluid that covers them up...' do people still use white out? nobody writes on paper anymore, people write on the computer. i still use white out though, i go through five computer screens a week! ha ha. don't laugh, i know is isnt funny before i said it, but i said it anyway, and you know why? because i'm optimistic, thats why. you know who invented whiteout? the mother of mike nesmith, who was the guitar player in the monkeys. thats why mike never participated in any of the monkeys reunion shows. he's like 'screw you guys, im heir to the whiteout fortune, i dont need you!' but of course, the glory days of correctional fluid are over now, the money will be drying up. next year he'll be putting on the monkey suit and the little wooley hat singing 'cheer up sleepy jean!'...'
+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's new book
+ the rather late programme with prince charles
- drew carey
- mindy kaling

ew book interview

with the release of craig ferguson's new book 'american on purpose', he has been making the rounds to support it. one place he has shown up in is the pages of entertainment weekly. he stopped by and gave a brief interview about what people can expect in the pages of his book. here is an excerpt from that interview:

Craig Ferguson is exposing himself. He's rolled up his cuffs to examine a sore spot on his leg where he fell off a horse. ''It was a f---ing Clydesdale as well,'' he says, then adds, ''When you fall off a horse, you should get back on it, but I didn't.'' Which is weird, because the actor, comedian, and Late Late Show host always gets back on the horse. Not always for the better. The first time he drank, he got wildly sick and punched a policeman — so he kept drinking and became a spectacular alcoholic. And when he was chased off stage for his misanthropic comedy character Bing Hitler? He kept doing the character and kept getting chased off stages. American on Purpose, Ferguson's raw, funny new memoir, is full of stories like these, and he rarely fares well in his own telling. ''That's the idea, isn't it?'' he asks. ''It's an autobiography — it might as well be honest.''

find the rest of the interview here.

craigs new tatoo

it seems that while craig ferguson was away from the show and it was in reruns he was busy getting inked! on the view he talked about his new tattoos. he has one on his right arm, which is the ferguson crest, which he got when his father died. the second one he got on his left arm for his mother, as he tells it 'my mother died less than a year ago, and i started to hear her say 'oh, what a lovely tattoo you got for your father...' so i had to get a tattoo for my mother'.

he also decided to get another tattoo, because apparently you should never have an even number of tattoos. his reasoning is this: 'my body was turning into a bit of a church yard, it was like tombstones on it, i wanted something for me, something life affirming. its kind of personal as well, its a new thought, the new world. i kind of like that.'

when asked by the women of the view why he got the one on his forearm, he replied 'its from a cartoon. actually in 1754 ben franklin had it in the newspaper, it was a symbol originally for the colonists to unite together against a common threat, and it became a revolutionary symbol. i got it cause i'm an american, and i wanted to have an american tattoo.

craig on the view

with craig ferguson's new book, 'american on purpose', coming out, he did a little promotion for it. one of those promotional stops was on 'the view'. he joined the ladies and talked about many different topics, such as freedoms we should be allowed, his new tattoos, his past, his wife, his career, becoming a pilot, the drew carrey show, and everything else they wanted to talk about. he came across as a really sincere guy who doesnt bother with all that self centered garbage most celebrities seem to have. a very interesting and fun interview!

9-10-09

+ 'i saw what happened during obama's speech to congress', criag ferguson declares, 'and i dont like it. congressman joe wilson of south carolina yelled during the speech. until then the speech was just normal, obama was talking everybody is like 'yeah yeah, blah blah, lets do good things, blah blah.' then joe wilson he's like 'you lie!' it caused a commotion amongst the other politicians, cause they were like 'how do you know? oh..'. now, i want to be very clear about this, i am not getting on congressman wilson's case for disagreeing with the president, he's absolutely, if he disagrees he disagrees. disagreement is what its all about- thats why we have republicans and democrats, boxers and briefs, rosie and trump, hall and oats, linens and things... every congressman has a vote, he should use it, but not in the middle of a speech to the joint sessions of congress, thats not when you do it- its not the jerry springer show! you dont stand up in the middle of congress and yell 'oh no, you did not!' what the hell is wrong with you?!? he says that his emotions got the better of him. sometimes i want to have sex with a hooker, but i dont! ...ooh, my inner dialog came out again, didn't it?'

+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book

- audrey tautou

- ron livingston

9-09-09

+ uh oh, another south carolina politician finds himself in hot water over a sex scandal. craig ferguson takes the time to talk about it: 'the scandal broke last night and the local tv station played the tape. in it he's braging to another politician about his affair. they were in a meeting and it was recorded. they recorded his words because his mic was on. in show business its called a hot mic. anyway, the story gets worse, the woman he is having an affair with turns out to be a lobbyist for an energy company, and the senator turns out to be the vice chair on the comittee on utilities... its a double no-no on this thing, its like an exterminator having an affair with a cockroach. well, no, its not as classy as that.'
- danny devito

celebrities read craig's book

with craig ferguson's new book, 'american on purpose', coming out soon, there has been a new segment where famous celebrities sit and read a short bit from his book! so far the celebrities have been such folks as betty white, dame edna, kevin bacon, and john waters. the little snippets from the book are usually unusual or altogether unrelated to anything one would expect- thus making it really funny to hear them read it out loud and out of context!

9-08-09

+ 'it's not a great day for america's school children', craig ferguson laments, 'its back to school day today, so on behalf of america's parents, god bless you schools. thank god! finally i can watch cartoons by myself. i love the summer time, but i can spend so much time at chuck e cheese, you know what i'm saying? i went so much this summer, the giant rat knows me! he's like 'good morning, craig', 'good morning chuck.' i'm getting a bit tired of their pizza as well, although i admit i still love the ball pit. when the kids come back to school today get get a bit of a surprise: president obama has a speech just for them, he said 'work hard, stay in school', he said some kids dont value education they just think they they will get rich if they just get on tv or something. i'm like 'ha!' as someone who dropped out of school and is on tv, he's right kids. dont end up like me, cbs in the middle of the night.'

- neil patrick harris

= spencer day

9-07-09

+ 'it's labor day today', craig ferguson reminds us, 'that's the end of wearing white. i have to put away my favorite white pumps. i've always been an outlaw though, i will continue wearing my white speedo. you want to take away my white speedo? you'll have to tear it away from my cold dead wiener. anyway, last week because we were going to HD i got my teeth whitened. but now its labor day, with summer gone, i'll have to have my teeth darkened for winter. my father used to have seasonal rules like that, he would drink light beer, like lager, in the summer, and dark beer, like guinness in the winter. his thinking was that light beer cools you in the summer, and the guinness warms you in winter. and that way being drunk isn't dependant on the seasons. a bit of a health nut, my dad.'+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book

- juliette lewis

- alex o'loughlin

9-04-09

+ as craig ferguson reads the emails, he comes across this gem : 'this one is from joe bob in hicksville kentucky. maybe its joe and bob they got together to write an email. 'yehaw!' thats how he starts, 'yehaw', 'how are ya doing?' alright, get on with it, 'my pa tells me you were once a member of the sex pistols, which one were you? the one with the tongue or the one dressed like a cat?'.' craig finds this one especially amusing and begins genuinely cracking up, 'i get asked this all the time' he says sarcastically, and continues to laugh hysterically. 'man, you know, i used to worry before i went to see a therapist, that i was crazy. i'm not crazy, i'm just like you'. then craig remembers the email again and falls into fits of laughter 'the cat?!? what is the cat?!? the cat wasnt even in the village people! was there a cat in the banana splits? i dont even think there was a cat in the banana splits! damn. we have to take a break after that one...'
- radha mitchell
- jason ritter finally! after all that waiting, jason is finally on!

9-03-09

+ 'there's a new study out today', craig ferguson informs us, 'a new scientific study out today, from scientists, that says that the healthiest sperm you can get comes from men with high IQs. i thinking 'nice try, scientists, you're still not getting laid! you're scientists- get back to work!'.'

-carrie fischer

- d.j. qualls

+ after being bumped from the last two shows, craig decides to make this week 'jason ritter week', there's a graphic and everything! he promises jason ritter will be on this episode. yet still no jason ritter. will we ever see this mysterious jason ritter interview?!? only time will tell...

9-02-09

+ 'the big brewhaha in russia', craig ferguson shares, 'here's what they're all cockahoop about in russia, there's a man in russia who's taking a newspaper to court, taking a russian newspaper to court because they are writing bad things about his grandfather. his grandfather was a man by the name of joseph stalin. what kind of a cheap rag would dare to say a bad think about uncle joe stalin? if you dont know joe stalin, he ruled the soviet union for 30 years, lets just say he was a bit of a 'bad dude'. a bad dude in the kind of 'cant be tamed' justin timberlake sort of way? stalin was even badder than justin timberlake! what? yeah. he was so bad during world war two he signed a non-aggression pact with the nazi's, he wiped out millions of his own people, and he had a very unpleasant moustache. now, you have to be very weary of men with moustaches: stalin had a moustache, hitler had a moustache, sadam hussein had a moustache, tom selleck had a moustache. that's right, magnum, i know what you did with higgins! anyway, stalin's grandson is on a mission, hes trying to restore stalin's good name. i thought we only had crazy people in california! what he said to the court in russia was that stalin presided over a golden era of literature and the arts. which is a bit like saying hannibal lecter presided over a golden era of fine cuisine. its like saying micheal vick presided over a golden era of pet care. you see what i'm saying?'

- mila kunis

+ still no jason ritter. craig promises that he will be on tomorrow.

9-01-09

+ 'there's very big news in hollywood', craig ferguson informs us, 'disney bought marvel comics for four billion dollars. not just one marvel comic, the whole collection! four billion. i think this is fantastic, it means we are this much closer to having the jonas brothers destroyed by the incredible hulk!'
+ dear aquaman
- quentin tarantino
+ originally they were suppossed to have jason ritter on, but they bumped him to tomorrow's show.

8-31-09

+ 'the big news here is that we are finally in HD', craig ferguson announces, 'now, i would like to assure both our regular viewers, even though cbs has spent upward of $200 upgrading the cameras, we will still be doing the same tired old crap we always do. you know what i did today? do i look like i'm a little 'aghh', you know what i did today? because we are going to HD, i'm such a douche, what i did was go to get my teeth whitened! i cant tell you the kind of pain i'm in right now! just four hours ago i was strapped to a chair while a man was putting strange apparatus in my mouth, then i went and had my teeth whitened... if i didn't have my teeth whitened, some people might suspect that i'm not originally from the united states!'

- emily deschanel

- terry crews

new opening

craig ferguson is now in HD! recently the 'late late show' upped their production value by turning to HD cameras and is now broadcast in high definition! along with those changes comes a few more: a new logo and a new opening. the song was rerecorded, and now the opening features a fun romp around town with craig singing, drumming, playing around with his puppets, and even taking a dip in the water fountain near his studio! i really love the new look, but i must say, i kind of miss the old light blue on the logo.

craig puppet

it finally happened! craig ferguson has been using puppets on 'the late late show' during the introduction so much that he has finally turned into one!

8-14-09

+ 'theres a new movie coming out today', craig ferguson informs, 'called 'the time traveler's wife', its based on the book 'the time travelers wife.'... there's a lot of movies about time travel, my favorite movie about going through time is the 'back to the future' movies. in the second one marty mcfly went to the year 2015 and there were flying cars. not gonna happen. in 2015 we'll be lucky if there's any cars in this country...'

- liza minnelli craig apologizes for saying that he looks like her- which he does!

# egyptologist dr. kara cooney

8-13-09

+ 'its a great day for america, everybody, and it is a great day for this show!' craig ferguson exclaims, 'we just found out that we are going to be in the HD. yes! take that, other late night shows, now all you've got a head of us is a band, a budget, and a structurally sound place, an american born host, jokes. alright, you still win... but anyway, starting in a few weeks, if you have a fancy new digital television you will be able to watch this show in the HD. when i first heard we would be in HD i thought we already have it. doesn't HD stand for huge douche bag? i've been HD on this show for nearly five years!'
- jon cryer

8-12-09

+ 'august is a terribly brutal month', craig ferguson muses, 'even the name 'august' sounds hot and sweaty: aaauuughustt. the month of august got its name from the roman emperor august... actually, it was augustus. augustus must have been a really good emperor, he got a whole month named after him. all julius ceaser got was a salad, and an orange julius. i've always been fascinated by the roman empire. i've been to rome, it was founded in 750 bc by the twins romulus and remus. that's true, they were two twins, founded an empire, kind of like the olson twins! they came and they said 'we'll build our town here!' just like if the olson twins founded a town and it went on to dominate the world for a thousand years. and then in about 2000 years from now there will be a month named 'mary kate'.

- eric bana

= holly williams

8-11-09

+ 'i love to barbecue' craig ferguson shares, 'for me, a good barbecue, i love it, its like good sex. you have to let things heat up for a while, then you have to choose the right tool, everything should be covered in bbq sauce... i like the old fashioned taste you get when the bbq is wood smoked. you know there's a place on hollywood blvd. where they'll smoke your wood for 20 bucks. if you tell them i sent you they might put grill marks on your wiener... the best bbq i've ever had was in fort worth texas. in fort worth they have a bbq place called 'risky's', now you know the food is going to be good if they call the place 'risky's'. they like hot sauces in texas, at risky's theve got the 'hot death' sauce, 'satan's messenger', and 'burns when i pee'. these are their three hot sauces. when you have bbqs in l.a. its very tough because so many people are vegetarians. you've got your vegetarians and your pescatarians who are vegetarians who eat fish. or jerks, as i call them. i'm a vegetarian who eats fish and cows and pigs and chicken, and giraffes. oh yes, nothing says summertime like throwing a giraffe on the barbecue. 'come on, everybody, help me with the giraffe! alright kids, who wants neck?'.'

+ micheal caine's animal kingdom

+ betty white as an officer from san quinten

* mitch albom

= bonnie raitt and taj mahal

8-10-09

+ 'it's a big day for me today', craig ferguson confides, 'todays the day i've been looking forward to all year. finally i can talk about it, its the number one celebration for me. thats right, i'm talking about equadorian independence day! on this day in eighteen something something the south american country of equidor declared independence from spain. and the rest is history. history which i'm not very knowledgable about. now let me say this: i never took drugs. on equadorian independence day. no, even i had my limits on this sacred of days. in scotland where they said 'alright, thats enough drinking and fighting everyone, lets stop for one day in celebration of the people of equidor. all right, we can do some acid, thats it though, only acid. no smoking hashish, no crack, only acid. and whiskey.'.'

> carrot top

- alexis bledel

8-07-09

+ 'theres a big movie opening today: g.i. joe', craig reminds us, 'g.i. joe of course is the figure that comes with the guns and the radios, but no genitals. i'm thinking how can that be a good movie? the only reason i go see movies is if there's genitals in it. no genitals? then i'll keep my ten dollars, thank you. they call the g.i. joe toys 'action figures' because the toy companies think that dads wont buy their sons dolls, if the dads let their boys play with dolls it might make them gay. i dont know much about g.i. joe, it was popular in the 80's and by then i was too old for action figures, i had moved on to other toys, you know, strawberry shortcake, my little pony... i was into a different sort of toys: you know, tequila. more than meets the eye! it certainly transformed me, i'll tell ya. in scotland we had action man, its kind of like g.i. joe, it had the action grip, the little scar on its face. i always wondered when they would make the action man movie, then a couple of years ago in a hotel room i saw a movie called 'action man' on pay per view. it wasnt a war movie at all... but one of the men was heavily decorated. toys werent cool when i was a kid, the commercials for the toys were better than the actual toy. like that game 'kerplunk'. remember that game kerplunk? man that was crap! a clear plastic cylinder with sticks inside holding up a bunch of balls and then when you pulled them out and the balls fell you said 'kerplunk'. thats the game! thats it! i thought the game would be fun cause in the commerical it looks great cause the family looks like they are having fun- the werent angry, they werent drunk- nothing like my family. i was so conditioned by the commerical, so for years afterwards i said 'kerplunk!' every time i saw balls drop, so at about 13 years old i announced to my family at dinner one night 'guess what everybody? kerplunk!'

+ the j k rowling show with jeffrey tambor as stehenie meyer

- don rickles

= sharon jones and the dap kings

8-06-09

+ 'this week, if you're a real biker, you're probably headed to the sturgis motorcycle rally', craig ferguson shares, 'all week long in sturgis there has been a gathering of bikes, and biker mamas, and the men who ride the both. they have been doing the sturgis motorcycle rally in sturgis north dakota since 1938. sturgis is a town with about 6,000 people in it, but they are expecting about half a million bikers in sturgis this year, that is a lot of mustaches and leather packed into a very small place- its like a party at ryan seacrest's. every year the annual motorcyle rally is followed by the annual pick the bugs out of your beard festival. anyway, there's something about a guy on a motorcyle, its like 'i aint living by your rules'. real bikers give you other hints, you know, like the long beard, the bad ass boots, a kick in the nuts. i'll never forget, in arizona once, this is true, i saw a guy on a motorcycle, a big american motorcycle, no helmet and a gun strapped to his back. i'm like 'this is the best country in the world!'.'

- zooey deschanel

= glasvegas

book interview

with the release of his autobiography coming soon, craig ferguson sat down and chatted about about his book, his show, and life in general. its very amusing, and quite interesting. its over on amazon.com near the bottom of the page. i cant embed it directly, but you can still check it out here.

CBS cares about authors

craig ferguson, dressed up like j.k. rowling, joined by jeffrey tambor dressed up like stephanie meyer give a public service announcement. they each introduce themselves and fight over who has more money. 'more important than all the money we have is helping the kids.' they look at each other, 'yeah right!' as they bust into laughter and start throwing money in the air!

8-05-09

+ 'congratulations today to bill clinton', craig ferguson offers, 'back in america today after going to north korea and freeing the two journalists. its pretty amazing. to be fair, it wasnt that difficult for bill clinton, he's used to sneaking women out of government buildings. 'dont you girls worry, this is not my first time bringing two chicks home, alright?' now the two journalists are from al gore's tv network 'current tv'. thats what its called, current tv. which surprised me, when i heard al gore had a network, i thought 'well, its got to be the food network, clearly'. you got to wonder how that feels, having bill clinton rescue al gore's employees. thats like NBC relying on jay leno to save their entire network- that would be insane! your welcome visiting television critics in los angeles. now, when the plane left north korea with the women on board there was jubilant celebration, then bill found out they were both married so things quited down a bit. they landed in l.a. this morning, its quite a contrast between l.a. and north korea, one is a cruel place filled with soulless people who are despised by most americans, and of course the other one is north korea. after the journalists landed al gore gave a speech, of course. now i dont want to say al gore went on too long, but about half way through, the women were like 'we can go back to prison if you want'. one of the imprisoned journalists said that when she saw bill clinton she knew that her nightmare was over. i'm thinking 'well this shows how times change', ten years ago when a woman saw bill clinton she knew her troubles were just about to begin!'

+ CBS cares promo

# wolf blitzer

- rose byrne

8-04-09

+ 'mount everest is the highest point on earth', craig ferguson begins to explain, 'some scientists argue that willie nelson's tour bus is actually the highest place on earth. the mountaineer sir edmund hillary is famous for being the first person to climb to the top of mt. everest, but what they dont talk about is the guide, the local guide who showed him the way to the top. you're thinking 'how does he know the way?' its true, there was a local guide, named tenzing norgay, he had to carry sir edmund hillary's stuff, you know, his tennis racket, his tea making equipment and everything, his ipod, i dont know what the hell he was carrying. the guide was like 'just go right up here' 'how do you know? no one has ever climbed here before' 'umm, i came by this way before once'. anyway, that was 50 years ago. today rich yuppies climb everest all the time to impress their friends. you know whats at the top of everest now? a starbucks!'

+ micheal caine's animal kingdom

- tony shalhoub

- minka kelly

7-31-09

+ at the end of his monologue tonight, craig ferguson jokes 'we have to take a break now for some cartoons. wouldn't it be awesome if the break really was cartoons? not that commericals arent awesome, they are great, the pay my wages... wouldnt it be great, just once, to go 'lets take a break for cartoons!' we should have cartoons. you know, i'm fed up with this late night bullshit, we should get... remember 'pee wee's playhouse'? we should get chairy- remember chairy? he was like a chair that talks. i miss chairy! we should have chairy back, can we get chairy on the show? chairy, if you are out there watching... oh, and the genie as well! 'meka leka hi, meka hidy ho!' he'd do very well here!'

+ a skit where sean connery appears on a bunch of different shows

+ the rather late programme with prince charles

- saffron burrows

7-30-09

+ 'the x-games start today', craig ferguson informs us, 'the closest i ever got to participating in an extreme sport was when i was a kid. we used to make soap box racers. we used to call them 'bogeys'. i dont know why, but we called them bogeys. you find a wooden box and add spoked wheels from a baby carriage and go very fast down hill. stopping was a big problem cause there weren't any breaks on them. you had to do that fred flintstone thing where your feet are on the road. and so i noticed this, and being a sensitive little boy, i said 'i think we need some breaks on this' and all the other people in scotland are like 'oh, you want sundresses to go with your wee breaking system, do ya?' 'oh, breaks is it? oh, why don't you go to l.a. and be with your own kind, ya safety loving panzie!' ah, good times...'

+ micheal caine's animal kingdom

- james spader he talks forever!

7-29-09

+ 'here's something that happened today', craig ferguson shares with us, ''what was it craig?' i'll tell ya! a swedish company today was fined when one of their assembly line robots attacked a human worker. and so it begins... it's bizaar, here in california when a robot goes crazy, we elect it governor!'

- toni collette

- rodney carrington (sing and talk)

300 episodes!

wow! its hard to believe that i have been keeping this blog for 18 months already! this blog now features 300 episode summaries of 'the late late show with craig ferguson'. i have enjoyed watching and writing about the show for the past year and a half, and i hope you have enjoyed reading about it to.
if you dont mind, i think i will just take a moment to remind everyone of the different things they can find on this website:
-first off, the episode summaries can all be found here.
-a look at the e-mail time songs he used to do can be seen here.
-many of the fun segments he has had over the past year and a half can be seen here.
-criag's novel (which is really quite good) and autobiography can be purchased here and here, oh and don't forget his stand-up dvd here.
-other places he has popped up are mentioned here.
-over the past year or so craig has had many regulars come on and help him with different skits, some of which can be found here.
-also, over the past months, craig has received some pretty high praise, which you can read about here.
-there have also been some times where i have shared my own thoughts here.
-also, a year or so ago i had the distinct pleasure of actually being in the audience for a taping of 'the late late show', which i talk about here!
please, feel free to look around, and don't forget to enjoy the show!

craig at tca

recently the 'television critic's association' convention was held. this is a time when all the networks show off their new fall line up of shows and try and convince the television critics that their new shows are going to be great! they also pump up the old shows that are returning.
craig ferguson came by and had a talk with many of the critics as well to boost interest in 'the late late show with craig ferguson'. one of the critics in attendance was alan sipenwall. he wrote of the great time they had with craig- check it out here.

puppet contest results

for several weeks now, craig ferguson has been having a little contest on 'the late late show'. often on the show he will start off before the opening song with puppets. he has a vast collection of puppets and uses them with very funny results! now he is having a 'puppet popularity contest' to see which puppet the audience likes the best. each night (or so) he shares the results from his website. though there were many in the running, craig narrowed it down to the top five or six. when the audience voted for ones he didn't like, he would have the puppet bow out of the race. leading us the the final contest winner: the shark! strange how criag's favorite puppet seemed to win without the most votes... me thinks that there might have been some hanging chads to blame...

7-28-09

+ 'its a big day today.' craig ferguson announces, 'that's right, its peruvian independence day! on this day in 1821 peru declared independence from the spanish. now, they had been dominated by the spanish conquistadors for a long time. i know how they feel- call me antonio banderas!'
- christiane amanpour
- johnny galecki

micheal caine's animal kingdom

another riff on micheal caine, in this bit craig ferguson does his hilarious micheal caine impression with the backdrop being the great outdoors. caine never makes much mention of it, its merely a setting for craig to display his humorous take on the micheal caine of the 60's filled with sexual innuendo and double entendres.